The glamorous world of MacFormat photoshoots II

Worlds collided today as the MacFormat team descended on Bathampton for a photo shoot at Steve's swanky new flat. Looking to get a nice shot of MF Editor Graham Barlow using the fancy new 24 inch iMac in his role as an 'iLife Guru' for the latest issue, Steve and Helen were kind enough to let us invade their flat for the afternoon, move all their furniture around and generally get in the way!

For those who are interested, here's a shot of Messrs Barlow and Phin in full-on 'photoshoot mode' - not particularly glamourous I know - and for those who are interested in how it turns out, check out the next issue of MacFormat.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I think your opinion of the new Indy film largely depends on just how much emotional investment you have in the character, and as such how high your expectations are. If you love Indy, then there is no way this can match up to your expectations, but if you're not a massive fan, then there's no reason that you shouldn't find this movie at least entertaining, because it is a lot of fun. Unfortunately it lives up to it's cliched description of being a rollercoaster ride, however this is more like Oblivion at Alton Towers, not the Big Dipper at Blackpool Pleasure Beach, because it goes from towering heights to agonizing depths in the blink of an eye (or should that be with the flip of a stomach?!) and so makes the film far from an enjoyable experience in the long run.

As a child of the 80s, my expectations were naturally sky high. I would go so far as to say I was probably more of an Indy fan than I was a Star Wars fan, and so I was probably as excited about seeing this as much, if not more, than I was about seeing the Star Wars prequels and in many ways, the sense of disappoinment is comparable. Now, before I go any further I want to go on record as saying I do not believe the Indy franchise to be flawless. Ok, so Raiders is pretty awesome, but Temple Of Doom is pretty cack (apart from the banquet scene and the mine cart chase), and Last Crusade, despite being my preferred choice for a number of years, has that really crappy ending with the invisible bridge - I mean, WTF guys!!

Unfortunately the Crystal Skull doesn't exactly get off to the best o f starts and for a franchise that is synonymous with strong opening scenes, this was probably the clunkiest and worst acted opening scene of any in the trilogy. Now let's be honest, I wasn't expecting something as iconic as the opening of Raiders, but I at least hope for some of the sparkle of Temple's dance routine or Crusade's young Indy flashback. Instead we got nothing but a formulaic run around an old warehouse with Ray Winstone being cockney and a couple of quick in-jokes for the fanboys. This was then followed by a random cameo by Alan 'Jim Robinson from Neighbours' Dale, which goes to show he really must have one hell of an agent!

At this point I was fearing the worst, however it did begin to pick up not long after that and I began to feel more positive. In part this was thanks to a great motorbike chase around the university campus, but more so, it was because Indy was back to doing what he did best, some good old fashioned archaeology action and riddle solving. Shia Le Beouf as Indy Jr. was introduced and wasn't too annoying and we seemed to be off on a quest and so all was good with the world of Indy again.

However that was soon undone by the 'Playstation Lite' chase scene in the jungle which was overdone with CGI and a need to have something that would appeal to the kids. In many ways, the evolution of the modern blockbuster can be seen when you compare this jungle chase scene with the tanks on horseback chase scene from Last Crusade. In that you got a feeling of 'reallism', that someone was actually hanging off the tank or being dragged along underneath. Whereas in this latests offering, where anything is possible because of digital composition, then a writers imagination can run wild with possible scenarios, which is not always a good thing. When Indy Jr., sorry Mutt, began getting hit in the nuts with cacti or swinging from ropes like a monkey I had flashbacks to James Bond waterskiing in Die Another Day and looking like a Playstation character and it ruined what was fast becoming an enjoyable part of the movie. OK, so I know it is Indy and it is supposed to be fantastical and unreallistic, however am I completely wrong for wanting a bit of 'reallism' in my fantasy action movie!!

And in many ways that theme continued on to the finale, which made Last Crusade's invisible bridge seem like cinema verite in comparison to this nonsense. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with the 'aliens' storyline, that's fine. I'd just like it to be a little less ridiculous - this is supposed to be a film based in the real world, not a galaxy far, far away, after all!!. I guess it's the problem of having Hollywood's most successful film-makers working together, as no-one can reign them in and tell them not to go mental, and so inevitably you get a CGI spectacle which just seemed completely unnecessary and again put a dampener on my enjoyment of the movie just as I was beginning to like it again.

Unfortunately, they couldn't leave it there, as they had to ruin my day just that little bit more with the horribly cheesy wedding scene at the end. To say Karen Allen was a disappointment in this, is like saying Harrison Ford is only a 'little bit old'. She was truly awful throughout and goes to show just how little George Lucas knows about writing interesting characters these days as she was a hollow shadow of her previous self, left to spout cliched nonsense and generally be 'plucky' without having any kind of redeeming character traits whatsoever. She didn't even get to punch Indy in the face this time - which he deserved much, much more than he did the last time they were reunited!

Having said that though, she was still 10 times more relevant and more interesting than John Hurt's Oxley, who had about much purpose in the film as the titular crystal skulls and by the time it was all over he had not only forgotten that he was supposed to be in a relationship with Marion, but the audience had forgotten to care about who he was and what he was doing other than being John Hurt ad that he had a gnarly beard! In many ways, I wish I could now be afflicted with the same kind of selective amensia, because despite not hating this movie, I really which that I could forget it and pretend that it was all just a nasty psychic hallucination. I just hope there isn't another one in the pipeline, as I don't think I could handle the stress!

The glamorous world of MacFormat photoshoots

For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to get the whole team photographed for the latest issue of MacFormat. As you can tell from the expression on my face, I came to regret it!

Al's World of Pies #5: The Raven of Bath (Bath)

Aah, the Raven of Bath. The best pub in Bath and the inspiration for this very blog. It seemed wrong to have written so many posts on this blog without a visit to it's spiritual home, and so this Thursday seemed the perfect opportunity to rectify that situation.

I can still remember the first time I went to the Raven. It was 3 years ago and was persuaded to try out this great new pub that Steve had heard about which served nothing but pie and real ale - so far so godd, right?! The only problem, was that prior to turning into the Raven, it was a somewhat more salubrious establishment known as 'Hatchetts', and was a real spit and sawdust biker pub that correctly reflected it's name by being the kind of place you would expect to get knifed more than you would expect to get a good feed. Thank goodness I chose to believe Steve's recommendation (well, he has to be right some of the time), and I have not looked back since. In fact, that first trip was so influential, that I managed to even overcome my aversion to kidney (and other meat that looks like organs), so it must be good.

What makes the Raven so great is that there is only two options on the menu - pies or sausages. (although these days they do offer some other options for those fusspots who don't fancy a pie!) Fortunately the array of pies on offer is second-to-none as they are supplied by the wonderful Pieminster Pie Company from Bristol. Whether you go for a 'Mr Porky', a 'Chicken of Aragon', a 'The Matador' or just a good old fashioned 'Moo pie' (steak ale for the uninitiated), then you are guaranteed a pie of superior quality - they even have seasonal pies with equally pun-filled names like the Ho, Ho, Pie. It even has a vegetarian option (The Heidi Pie), if you fancy avoiding meat - although why you would do that, I do not know!

Today's choice was the Matador, which contains beef, chorizo, olives and butter beans. (It must be a good pie as I normally hate olives!). It has well seasoned pastry - not your plain old shortcrust - and was served with a red wine and thyme gravy and classic chips. (As well as the fantastic choice of pie, the only other major choice you have to make when ordering is which gravy and chips and mash, however a safe bet is always chips and red wine gravy!) Uncluttered by such luxuries as vegetables, the only thing that you find on your plate which isn't a pie or a chip is a little bit of parsley and a tomato, which I am sure 90% of people leave on the side (however, for some reason it just wouldn't be the same if it wasn't there as it adds a delicate splash of colour to your plate of brown.)

As well as serving fantastic food, the Raven has a great old-school pub feel (with the tiniest pub door in the world) and serves a great collection of real ale. Although the Raven's Gold is always a safe bet, you can always be guaranteed to play the 'Real Ale Lottery' game where you chose your drink based on the relative comedic value of it's name. It was also one of the first non smoking pubs in Bath, is deaf-friendly and regularly has poetry nights and spoken word nights which help give the place the kind of character which makes a pub truly something special. (Just make sure you arrive nice and early in the winter or on match day as the place fills up and is standing room only these days).

Pros: Great array of Pieminster pies, great selection of ales, great location
Cons: Not cheap, limited menu if you don't like pie, no longer a well-kept secret - can be busy!

OVERALL VERDICT: 9/10

Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Ridiculously Cool Merchandise

With only a handful of days remaining before the mighty Indiana Jones returns to the cinema screen, I couldn't but notice one of these while browsing around the toy section of Amazon. OK, so I know all the arguments against it (I'm too old, I've got enough toys and I wasted too much money on Star Wars lego already), but my god do I want one - it's so cool!!

So anyone thinking of a prospective birthday present for me, just click HERE and don't forget the gift wrapping option!

Al's world of pies #4 - The Pasty Shop (Bristol Templemeads Station)

One of the keys to a good pasty shop, is location. With the emergance of the 'urban pasty shop', such as Pasty Presto or the West Cornwall Pasty Co., then you find them popping up in the most curious of locations. For years, you were only ever likely to find a dedicated pasty shops in a small Cornish fishing village that was run by some crazy backward local from Mevigissy who had been up since dawn crimping her offerings with the traditional technique that had been handed down over generations. However, with these shops popping up in most unlikely locations (from Bath Abbey Square to Reading station), then anyone with an NVQ in Food and Hygiene can now be handed the responsibility of making a 'Cornish pasty'.

However the 'urban pasty shop' that taunts me most right now is the Pasty Shop that lurks in the subway at Bristol Templemeads station. With it's aroma that is more enticing than a KFC on a Friday night, the Pasty Shop is perfectly placed to lure travellers in to sample it's fine wares. Like a pastry siren, it tempts you with the smell of meat and pastry because when it comes to satsifying a hunger on that long journey are you really going to chose a visit to Dash Sushi, or a pasty?! I think not!

With 15 minutes to wait until my train to Bath, I was suckered in by just such a sensory ploy this weekend and though perhaps it should be documented in blog form. Now, unlike the previously mentioned KFC that offers much and fails to deliver on it's promise, the Pasty Shop actually makes some rather nice pasties. But I guess that should be expected seeing as Templemeads is the transport hub that acts like a gateway to the west. In this case I decided to sample their 'Big One' and was charged a very reasonable £3.49 for the privilege. The pastry of my big one, was firm and crunchy and inside a nice mix of well seasoned potato and meat was soon filling my hunger. Although a little mushy, and with not much in the way of solid chunks of meat, the claims on the bag that this was '100% Pure' seemd slightly misleading as it was hard to tell just what you were eating that was 100% of anything. The other problem, was that the contents were hotter than the sun in parts, and with only a few minutes to go unilt the 14:40 to Werymouth was set to arrive and ferry me home, I was the victim of several severe burns to the roof of my mouth as I attempted to finish it before the train arrived. Fortunately, the train was running late and I was gifted an extra few minutes to finish off the offending crust. People may complain constantly about the state of the railways and the decline of public trasnport, however they are never grateful when the lateness of a train actually makes their life better, on this occassion and I have never appreciated signal failure at Cardiff more.

Pros: Good pastry, great location, Reasonable price.
Cons: Mushy potato, Hotter than hell, tempts me to buy one every time I am at the station,

OVERALL VERDICT: 8/10

"This is your wake-up call Bohdie, I AM AN F.B.I. agent!!"

According to Empire magazine, the source of all things filmic, there is a sequel to Point Break coming to a cinema (or rather a Blockbuster bargain bin) near you soon. All I can say to this is, dude, how can you make a sequel to all time-greatest bank robbing, wave-riding, sky-diving, dude shouting, man-on-man action movie of all-time?! The original ends perfectly with Bohdie riding off into the distance while his hetero man-friend Johnny Utah walks off in the rain looking moody in his stone washed denim jacket. This is surely going to introduce whole new levels of suckage to the unvierse, but you know that Tim and I will be front and centre for this on opening weekend. Not long after we've been to see Lost Boys II that is!

Je ne pas parlez Francais

With Tim's wedding fast approaching, Steve and Helen persuaded me to join them in attending some basic French lessons at Bath uni this week, in order to brush up on our linguistics. Well, the first class was this evening and it's amazing just how much you forget having not spoken the language in 14+years!! (Although having said that, as soon we sat down I got flashbacks to Thursday afternoons with Mrs Maclean at Hardys!)

Thinking it would be a walk in the park and it would all come flooding back was a massive pre-judgment, however we were not alone in our ignorance of the mother tongue Francais! Let's hope that by the time the wedding comes around that we will be able to say more than je m'appelle Alex and j'habite a Bath, however I wouldn't count on it. Betters get cracking on with my 'deviors' now, like a good keen little mature student! Nous alons mes amis!

High octane bulls**t

"As all the thoughts of flowers fill the air, we must remember, they cannot hurt us."

And so speaks the great sage James 'Lord of Bath' Ellerbeck. If ever you need a bon mots or pearl of wisdom then all you need is to take James to a pub and ply him with real ale. However on this particular sunny Friday afternoon, with the latest issue of MacFormat completed, all it required was a bit of sunlight and some sparkling water for the Ellerbeck wisdom to be dispensed! However it was summed up perfectly with today's new catchphrase/catch all - "high octane bullshit" - and what better phrase could better describe the experience.

Al's World of Pies #2: Wetherspoons (Dorchester)

Wetherspoon's pubs are famous for many things; cheap bear; a tendancy for drunk old men to frequent them on a Saturday afternoon; and an right wing owner with the finest mullet this side of the 1980s. So it was, with a little trepidation, and a considerable hunger, that I decided to not go for the chicken roast, or the beef and burger this past Sunday, but instead chose to sample the Beef and Abbott Ale pie of the Royal Oak in Dorchester. I assure you, it was all in the name of continuing this, my semi-regular over analysis of the great pies of the UK and not just a way to fight off the cider induced hangover from the night before, (which was still nagging away at me like an over-exuberant mother.)

First impressions can often be some what deceiving, and so like meeting a new girlfriend only to find out she is actually a man, the pie arrived on my table with quite the fanfare (not to mention a little pot of extra gravy). But as the old adage goes, size is not everything, and in the case of a good pie, never has that phrase been more apt. With more pastrie than a pastie shop bin, I set about finding one of the pieces of 'locally sourced British Beef' that the menu had promised with zeal. However it was quite the search before I found anything even slightly resembling some meat! All of a sudden the extra pot of gravy did not look like a nice little extra, rather a taunting reminder of how little filling their actually was among my pastrie (I knew I should have gone for the roast!).

Fortunately there was a good supply of oven chips that seemed to have at least seen something resembling a fryer (rather than coming straight out of the microwave) as well as a mountain of carrott sticks to help fill out the plate. However, what on earth made them feel like polluting my plate with a big pile of stinking cabbage I don't know?! OK, so it's good British fair and is healthy, with plenty of iron, but that doesn't mean I need it cluttering up my plate and contaminating my pie!

In conclusion, although not the best of pies I have had in recent memory, it certainly helped to combat the thick head and tent-induced fatugue that was wracking my body at the time. And on a day where we visited both the Cerne Giant and Corfe Castle, this was far from the biggest disappointment of the weekend.

Happy 30th Birthday Pipper!

There's a man with a big willy in the background - no not Piran! Alas, you cannot quite sample the glorious drizzle that was filling the air at this point, and we all returned to the fun bus pretty darn quickly!

Al puts Tim in the love-lock, while I don't want to even think about what Steve is doing to poor Piran. Not long after this kerosene and charcoal was unleashed and men were pre-occupied with fire and left each other alone.

Somewhere hidden amongst the newspaper and bricks was a present for Pip. At least I think there was!

Simon 'the bruiser' Crofts, takes on the birthday boy.

Videos, including the pre-wedding grudge match of Tim vs. Charlotte, will be posted soon!